Divorce is often a very emotional process. With all the changes that come with divorce, many people start to have negative feelings that they might not understand. You may have heard about the 5 stages of Divorce. These are not 5 steps in the legal process. Instead, it is about the 5 emotional stages that take place after a spouse has asked for divorce.
What are the 5 Stages of Divorce?
The emotional stages of divorce are often described in terms of the five stages of grief, similar to the stages identified by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her model of coping with death and dying. These stages can help individuals understand and process their emotions during the divorce process. It’s important to note that people may not experience these stages in a linear or uniform manner, and the intensity of each stage can vary from person to person. Here are the five stages of divorce:
- Denial and Shock: This is the initial stage where the reality of the divorce sets in. You may feel disbelief and shock, as it may be difficult to accept that the marriage is ending. During this stage, it’s common to feel overwhelmed and emotionally numb.
- Anger: As the shock begins to wear off, it’s not uncommon to experience anger. You might direct this anger at your spouse, yourself, or the circumstances surrounding the divorce. It’s essential to find constructive ways to channel and manage your anger, as it can have a significant impact on your emotional well-being and the divorce process.
- Bargaining: In this stage, you may find yourself trying to negotiate or make deals in an attempt to reverse or change the divorce. You might feel regret and wish you could have done things differently to save the marriage. Bargaining is a natural response to the loss and pain associated with divorce.
- Depression: As reality sets in, feelings of sadness, grief, and depression can become more pronounced. It’s essential to differentiate between a normal grieving process and clinical depression, seeking help if you’re unable to manage the overwhelming sadness and hopelessness.
- Acceptance: Eventually, individuals reach a stage of acceptance. This doesn’t mean you necessarily feel happy about the divorce, but you come to terms with the reality of the situation. Acceptance often signifies a readiness to move forward, make plans for the future, and focus on rebuilding your life.
It’s important to remember that these stages are not rigid, and individuals may revisit them at various points during and even after the divorce process. The emotional journey through divorce can be challenging, and it’s advisable to seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional to help you cope with the emotional challenges that can arise during this difficult time.
When Does Divorce Regret Set In
After acceptance has been reached, regret may come later. While it does not happen to everyone, divorce regret is felt by many. It occurs when individuals who have gone through a divorce begin to question their decision and feel a profound sense of loss or sadness. It is normal to feel sad or upset after a major life change, but these negative feelings can cause disruptions to your day to day life and prevent you from moving forward after a divorce.
This is a separate issue from the 5 stages of divorce, but the emotional toll can be very similar. To learn more about divorce regret check out “When Does Divorce Regret Set In?”
Seek Help
It is important to seek help from mental health professionals if these feelings become overwhelming. There are always therapists and counselors to talk to. They can help you further understand your feelings, and help you develop healthy coping mechanisms to deal with these negative feelings. You should also lean on your friends and family. It is always good to have a solid support system, not only to distract from the negative emotions, but also to get an outside perspective from someone who really knows you. These steps can help you get back on your feet.
Conclusion: What are the 5 Stages of Divorce?
It is normal to feel a wide range of negative emotions during the divorce process, and even after. Understanding these feelings and seeking help from family and qualified mental health professionals can make a huge difference in how you feel. With these insights, it can be easier to set goals and move forward after your divorce.
If you are going through a divorce, it is advisable to retain a qualified family law attorney to take some of the pressure off. An experienced attorney can help you develop strategies for family court or mediation making the process easier, and giving you more time to understand your emotions and move forward with your life.
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Disclaimer: This article (What are the 5 Stages of Divorce?) may contain information that is outdated as Illinois law continuously evolves. Meeting with an experienced family law attorney is the best way to ensure you are receiving the most current information on What are the 5 Stages of Divorce?
Published by Dustin Koth on October 29, 2024
